March 5, 2009 at 5:35 pm 1 comment

So, I never really write about my own, personal experiences, but this one is terrible and I wanted to share.

I went to the Student Health Center of Large State University today to find out if I am allergic to this smelly lotion that made my legs itchy, fully aware that they don’t have an allergist there, but knowing I could get a referral.  When I asked for said referral, they basically told me I would have to pay out-of-pocket to see one because apparently I only have the basic student health insurance.

SAY WHAT!?  I thought I had Super-Duper-Fancy-Graduate-Assistant-Health-Insurance because I was, you know, an employee of The University and all.  No, they said, we think you’re a Regular Student, which means if anything happens to you, just pop on over to your friendly Student Health Center and we’ll see what we can do, but we can’t send you to an allergist, or help you pay for your lady pills, because that would make too much sense.  Please call HR.

“Hi, HR, can you help me?”

HR does not respond for over four hours.

So I call the lady who was supposed to sign me up for The Insurance when I signed on to payroll as an employee entitled to fancy things like health care.  Let’s call her “Helga.”  “Hi,” I said,  “I don’t have the Super-Duper-Fancy-Graduate-Assistant-Health-Insurance like I am supposed to have.  But I see the website that says ‘please notify Helga if you want health insurance,’ and a copy of the e-mail I sent to you four months ago saying ‘ Dear Helga, I want health insurance, please.'”

Helga: “Call Roger*.”

*Not his real name, this is like Cosmo, except without the half-naked men and the recycled sex tips.

So I call Roger.  He says, “call HR.”

Somehow, by the miraculous coincidence you only ever see in sitcoms and made-for-TV-movies, at this very moment I receive an e-mail from HR saying, “you’re only on the regular student health plan.”

Yeah, I know.  I call The Health Insurance Company.

Angry Lady Who Hates Her Life and Works for Health Insurance Company says: “You’re on the regular student health plan.  Not the Super-Duper-Fancy-Graduate-Assistant-Health-Insurance List.  Call HR.”

Oh don’t worry, Angry Lady, HR and I are so tight, we’re e-mail buddies, and HR is e-mailing me right now, because obvi, my life is a made-for-TV-movie.

HR says: “Congratulations!  You are on the Super-Duper-Fancy-Graduate-Assistant-Health-Insurance List!  You can get medical care and attention!  Your cards are a-coming!”

But The Insurance Company JUST said, “you are not on The List.”

Tired of e-mails, I call HR.  “Hello,” he says.  “The Insurance Company says I am not on The List,” I say.  “Oh,” he says, “I will fix this tomorrow.”

I tell him that I have a Big Basketball Game tonight and if I get injured, he will receive a phone call from me (or my mom) so that my Super-Duper-Fancy-Graduate-Assistant-Health-Insurance is expedited and I can be taken care of quickly.  So if you are playing my intramural team in basketball tonight, please do not hurt me.

Then Lauren sent me this and this, because laughing at things babies say and stupid people makes everything better.


Entry filed under: Health Care.

So Much Great Stuff, I’m Posting Twice in One Day Lots ‘O Links

1 Comment Add your own

  • 1. sfcpoll  |  March 10, 2009 at 11:40 pm

    what a crappy ordeal- I have a suggestion – come work for a well-funded non-profit where super duper fancy health care is always provided!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

Trackback this post  |  Subscribe to the comments via RSS Feed


Flickr Photos

%d bloggers like this: